1. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I engage others tactfully and effectively. I initiate conversation and make it easy for others to connect with me.



2. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I tune in to others and quickly get in sync with them. I understand how to manage the give-and-take of a conversation.



3. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I am able to maintain and continue a conversation. After I have connected, I draw others out so our conversation can develop.



4. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I respond during conversations and show this in my face, body, eyes, and voice. I maintain a high energy level and am “alive” to the ongoing situation.



5. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I listen attentively and hear what is actually said. I empathize and listen “between the lines” for subtle meanings, not just for the literal level of meaning.



6. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I know how to check for my accuracy of understanding. If I don’t understand or am confused, I check with the speaker.



7. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I can speak and listen at the same time (“full - duplex mode.”) I am not preparing my response instead of listening.



8. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I use a variety of types of questions, such as closed, open, indirect, and “if” questions. I do not bombard others with lots of questions.



9. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I have an excellent vocabulary and am sensitive to verbal distinctions. My language is precise, not vague. I use fresh language and avoid clichés, profanity, and big show-off words.



10. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I am well-informed with up-to-date information and am able to discuss what is happening in my community and nation as well as topics of special interest like films or sports.



11. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I have some special knowledge and expertise and share it when it is invited and appropriate.



12. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I am flexible and adjust my language and manner to allow for differences in gender, culture, age, education, and status.



13. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I can improvise and be creative so that I can take conversational detours away from predictable topics. When I wish to, I tactfully change the subject.



14. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I am comfortable even when I don’t know much about a topic and I am able to carry on by inquiring, listening, and being a learner. I do not feel threatened by not knowing.



15. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     My voice is modulated so that people find it easy to listen to me. I am vocally expressive, even colorful. My voice holds listeners’ attention and clarifies my intended meanings.



16. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I pause and use silence skillfully. I have a good sense of when it is best for me to talk and when to remain silent.



17. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I tell stories and anecdotes with colorful language and animation. My stories are my own, not borrowed from others.



18. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     For greatest impact and clarity, I use a good sense of timing and emphasis when conversing.



19. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I balance my talking and listening and do not dominate conversations. I make sure others have their opportunity to talk.



20. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I do not block the flow of conversation with interruptions or distractions, and I avoid contradicting with phrases like “Yes, but . . .” Instead, I add to and build upon the conversation.



21. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I show interest in others and their ideas. I respond with civility and encouragement and avoid putting others down.



22. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     When I encounter difficult or hostile persons and verbal bullies, I protect myself skillfully without becoming hostile like them.



23. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I collaborate rather than compete in a conversation. I do not hog the center of attention, and usually I can make a conversation mutual and reciprocal.



24. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I am sensitive to privacy and do not pry into others’ personal or intimate details. Also, when appropriate, I can and do reveal myself to others.



25. select rating almost never sometimes usually almost always     I remember the names of people I meet, and I use their names during the conversation. When I’m not sure how to pronounce a person’s name, I politely ask.

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