Conversation as a General Practice   

 Do you know a person who talks about only one topic?     

Probably so. Such people are among us. Usually what they talk about is their work Sometimes it's sports, or fashion, or an obsessive hobby. Perhaps these persons have only one thing on their mind, such as the new business they're starting, or the aches and pains they are suffering from. Or their divorce, or new home, or their recent trip to the Pyrenees.     

When persons are captivated by one topic, they are not good at small talk, thinking it a waste of time. They want to get right into what is most on their minds, then talk it over with you. They have only one conversational arrow in their quiver.     

When we have specific needs, we seek out specialists like auto mechanics and hair stylists and tax accountants to talk over the issue we are dealing with. Those people earn their livings from their specialities, and we expect their knowledge of the subject to be wide and deep.     

However, for both social and workplace conversation, the best conversers are not specialists, but general practitioners of ideas, events, and opinions. They can relate to the topic concerns of a variety of people, of both genders, and sometimes of various cultures. Young and old, wise and foolish, well-informed and ignorant, all of these types and more come one's way during a lifetime.     

The reasons for such a single-topic focus? Among them:     

1. A passing fascination, such as the current boyfriend, or the new car. We all have these moments from time to time.  2. A chronic involvement, as with the person who not only has a job, but IS their job.  3. The stigma of not knowing. Some people avoid topics other than the one they know best in order to avoid being seen as ignorant of some other's expertise. A common problem..     

Of course, such a single-minded focus can be changed with a choice to be open to other topics. "I choose to be interested because this will help me relate to others." For example, some years ago I knew of a university football coach who offered seminars to wives and girlfriends of men who were football fans. The guys wanted the women to attend games with them and enjoy the action, but that wasn't possible if the women were ignorant and disdainful of football as "just a guy thing." Many of the women chose to learn something about football in order to share in the men's enthusiasm. At the very least, they were able to participate in a conversation about the topic, and that was a real plus in the relationships.     

We can make a choice to be interested, even fascinated, by a topic we don't know about as long as we are willing to be learners. If our pride gets in the way ("I don't want to talk about things I don't know a lot about"), then we won't be able to. However, if we allow ourselves to be curious and open, we can be with people of many different backgrounds and special knowledge. We don't really have to know much in advance. We have only to ask good questions and respond with interest.     

In the Rodgers and Hart musical, "Babes in Arms," there is a song about "Johnny One Note," who could literally sing only one note. "Poor Johnny One Note sang out with gusto and just overlorded the place." Sadly for him, he could get only one small role for his one note, that in the opera "Aida."     

Don't be a Johnny One Note. Be a general practitioner.