Conversation as a Performing Art   

 Throughout my articles on conversation skills I have emphasized the  idea that conversation is like a dance, with conversers taking turns  leading and following. However, there is a striking exception to this  rule. We could refer to this exception as `the performance conversation.`     

Conversation on Broadway     

During a recent trip to New York City, I attended a Broadway show  entitled `Dame Edna Returns with a Vengeance.` Dame Edna is really  the brilliant Australian actor, Barry Humphries, who impersonates a witty,  advice-giving blue-haired lady who carries on a gossipy conversation  with her audience. In this production, Dame Edna did not observe the  usual conventions of theater that would have had the audience `looking in`  on the action. Instead, she actively engaged us, chatted with individuals and  couples and the audience as a whole. For two hours of mirth and merriment,  Dame Edna conducted an extended conversation for 1,000 people who paid  $87.50 for orchestra seats!     

Performing in Personal Situations     

But how about in a much smaller conversation? Is it appropriate for one  Person to `perform` within that more casual and personal situation?     

Of course, yes, if the performer is up to the task, and if the listeners  agree. I would much rather listen to a brilliant wit amusing me than insist  on having my turn. I would also defer to a gifted story-teller during our  conversation than interrupt the story with questions. However, if the  converser only seeks to dominate and rambles on to control the talk, I'd  rather be actively engaged in the usual turn-taking mode.     

When a converser goes into performance mode and the listener  agrees, the implied arrangement shifts from `You have a turn to talk,  then I have a turn to talk` to `You entertain me, and I willingly give up  my turn to talk and give you my full attention and positive feedback.`     

Conversation Art on Stage     

History is sprinkled with legendary raconteurs and wits who  delighted individuals and groups with their verbal genius. For  example, essayist Dorothy Parker, poet and playwright Oscar Wilde.  Mark Twain was another. Contemporaries include Garrison Keillor  of A Prairie Home Companion, who `converses` with both his theater  and his huge radio audience on Saturday nights on Public Radio. People  pay big money for tickets to listen to various cultural creatives engage  in unscripted conversations on stage, such as poet Robert Bly and linguist  Deborah Tannen, and columnist Molly Ivins with satirist Al Franken.  In film, `My Dinner with Andre` has become something of a classic  despite its lack of plot or action  only two men over dinner having a  conversation about big life questions.     

Do You Want to Be a Conversational `Performer`?     

When you become skillful at word-play or at storytelling,  you will have earned the right to take center stage during a group  conversation. Fortunately, lots of books, audio materials, and  workshops are available to assist you, plus a whole lot of living  models you can observe and learn from on stage or television.     

Practice is necessary to become proficient as a performer.  Practice is the dues you must pay for getting `on stage` and  reaping the personal reward of delighting your listeners.