Impro-versation: Staying Present   

 A key principle of improvisational theater is Respond in the  present. Improv players get themselves and fellow players into  trouble when they think ahead and write mental scripts of  what they'll say later on. Then, by the time another player  makes them an offer to deal with, their pre-scripted response  doesn't fit.  Conversers Often Pre-script   

During everyday conversation, people often pre-script while  waiting their turn to talk. You can observe such scripting when  people are self-conscious and want to appear competent, as  when groups of strangers are asked to briefly introduce themselves.  In these situations, you can see most people planning ahead instead  of listening to the others'introductions. The quality of responding  and accuracy of understanding plummet because so little  attention is given to listening.   

Even when people are able to pretend to listen because they  want to appear polite, their attention is divided between scripting  and responding, and what they say will seem more mechanical  than spontaneous.   

Conversation Needs Spontaneity   

For the best flow, a conversation needs spontaneity. When  conversers are able to be in the moment, their phrases will have  the feeling of freshness and authenticity, even though they may  not be well-crafted or even grammatical. (The ancient Greeks  had a phrase to describe oratory that had been too carefully  planned in advance: It smells of the lamp. The speaker had  stayed up late to work out the perfect language, correct in form,  but stale in tone when finally uttered.)   

The best-known improv group in North America is  Second City, in existence since the 1950s and franchised  in both Canada and the U.S. Many of the very best  improv performers like Mike Nichols and John Belushi  came to TV and the movies from this professional source.  However, only a small portion of Second City performances  are live and in the moment. Instead, the players improvise  the sketches which are then fixed and scripted for performance.  the result is that the performances use pre-rehearsed and well-worn  material that, while amusing, often lacks freshness.   

Quality conversation is creative and improvisational and,  although patterned, is often surprising rather than predictable.  As with the music of jazz ensembles and the play of young  children, offers are exchanged and wonderfully creative ideas  emerge. (For an in-depth exploration of this concept, see  Keith Sawyer's excellent book, Creating Conversations,  March 2001.)   

Collaboration Is a Key Goal   

In conversation, as in ensemble theater, achieving collaboration  is a key goal. To achieve this, conversers must let go of trying  to pre-plan and control the conversation. When all the talkers  are thinking about what they'll say next, the result is only  co-blaboration, not real collaboration.   

When you take a chance and stay in the moment, even if  you're not sure what you're going to say next; when you  trust your experience and your intuition, the right words will  come forth and will fit nicely into the open moment.