Nonverbal Signals During Conversation 

 Nonverbal signals are often more important than the words  expressed. Even more than words, nonverbal cues indicate  the relationship among conversers.   

3 Dimensions of Nonverbal Signals   

Social psychologist Albert Mehrabian illuminated this matter  by describing three dimensions of nonverbal signals we give off  during conversation. Based on his research, he termed these  dimensions immediacy, power, and responsiveness. In his book  Nonverbal Communication (1972) and later books and articles,  he described these signals.   

The first dimension, immediacy, relates to spacing between  conversers. It is based on the principle that people are attracted  to things they like and repelled by things they don't like. We  move closer to people and ideas we like. Perhaps we lean toward  them and make gestures that intend to bring closer the things we  like. When we don't like a person or the ideas we hear, we tend  to keep a greater distance and lean away. As well, we may  contract our posture with folded arms.   

The second dimension -- that of power -- is characterized by  big, expansive movements that symbolically suggest dominance.  Standing erect and occupying a lot of space suggest I'm in charge  here. President Lyndon Johnson, already a big man, was often  described in terms of Texas-sized movements and sweeping gestures.  He was truly a high power converser. Low power is signaled by  small and hesitant gestures and movements and posture that takes  up less space, perhaps with body slumped over and arms held in.   

The third dimension, responsiveness, signals the intensity of  our feelings about the person or subject. When we react a lot, we  show the strength of our feelings. When we react only a little, we  show what might be lack of concern or indifference. During social  conversation, it is almost always helpful to be fully responsive  because this demonstrates to other conversers that we are with them,  alive to the situation, and fully involved. Our head-nods, facial  expressions, and body movements provide signals to others that  we are following them closely.   

Many Signals Are Out-of-Awareness   

Generally, these body signals we give off are out of our awareness.  They are our unconscious responses to the incoming expressions of  others. Sometimes they are incongruent and contradict our words,  as when a salesperson prepares a carefully worded sales pitch but  then contradicts the words with a meek and unenthusiastic presentation,  or when a sports coach, hoping to be seen as the leader, moves  timidly and with hesitation.   

The Experience of Physicians   

Medical students receiving communication training for effective  doctor-patient relationships have sometimes been surprised when they  viewed videos of their interaction. Instead of expressing immediacy  (showing liking and warmth), they sometimes appeared distant and  aloof, thereby signaling to the patient a lack of caring. As we know,  the healing process of patients is directly correlated with the type of  feelings expressed by the physicians. More immediate and responsive  expressions show the kind of caring that encourages and reassures  patients.   

On the other hand, doctors who appear aloof and uninvolved with  patients impede the healing process. Such doctors are sued for  malpractice more often by patients and their families than those  who expressed caring and involvement.   

When you are aware of the signals you give off, you can  consciously adjust them to fit the situation. For example, as a  subordinate, you may be more appropriate when you express fewer  power signals, thereby expressing that you know who's in charge.  Being mindful of your nonverbal expressions will allow you to  choose more effective ones.