"Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence."

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

Check your answer at the end of today's article.

"Conversation, n. A flair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor."

--Ambrose Bierce, satirist

To make your conversations more creative and spontaneous, you can apply some basic principles of improvisational theater.Today's article is a slightly-revised reprise of one of the most popular articles I have written since publication of "Better Conversations" began in 2002.  I coined the neologism "improversation" for conversations conducted

with improv principles.Read on . . .

Improversation:  Stay PresentA key principle of improvisational theater is to "Respond in the present."  Improv players get themselves and fellow players into trouble when they think ahead and write mental scripts of what they'll say later on.  It often happens that by the time another player makes them an offer to deal with, their pre-scripted response doesn't fit.

Note:In improv, every response is considered an "offer."

Even when people are able to pretend to listen because theywant to appear polite, their attention is divided between scriptingand responding, and what they say will seem more mechanicalthan spontaneous.  When you commit to being fully present, youcan also be fully attentive to what others are saying.

Good Conversation Needs SpontaneityFor the best flow, a conversation needs spontaneity.  Whenconversers are able to be in the moment, their phrases will havethe feeling of freshness and authenticity, even though they maynot be well-crafted or even grammatical.  (The ancient Greekshad a phrase to describe oratory that had been too carefullyplanned in advance:  "It smells of the lamp."  The speaker hadstayed up late to work out the perfect language, correct in form,but, when finally spoken, stale in tone.)The best-known improv group in North America is"SecondCity," in existence since the 1950s and franchisedin bothCanadaand theU.S.Many of the very bestimprov performers like Mike Nichols and John Belushicame to TV and the movies from this professional source.However, only a small portion ofSecond Cityperformancesare live and "in the moment."  Instead, the players improvisethe sketches which are then fixed and scripted for performance.  The result is that the performances use rehearsed and well-wornmaterial that, while amusing, often lacks freshness.

Quality conversation is creative and improvisational and,although patterned, is often surprising rather than predictable.As with the music of jazz ensembles and the play of youngchildren, offers are exchanged and wonderfully creative ideasemerge.  (For an in-depth exploration of this concept, seeKeith Sawyer's excellent book, Creating Conversations,March 2001.)

Collaboration Is a Key GoalIn conversation, as in ensemble theater, achieving collaboration is a key goal.  To achieve this, conversers

must let go of trying to pre-plan and control the conversation.  When all the talkers are thinking about

what they'll say next, the result is more like "co-blaboration" than real collaboration.When you take a chance and stay in the moment, even ifyou're not sure what you're going to say next; when youtrust your experience and your intuition, the right words willcome forth and fit nicely into the open moment.

Loren Ekroth �2009, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication anda national expert on conversation for business and social life.

Contact atLoren@conversationmatters.com