People don't become bored if they're actively engaged in an activity. There are two ways to engage people in conversation: You can talk to them, or you can listen to them. Often listening is the better way to engage them and hold their interest rather than continuing to talk. To do this, ask good questions and listen up.

"One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore... and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience."

--Novelist John Updike

To change the subject of a conversation, simply ask "Do you mind if I change the subject to _____?" Almost everyone will grant this polite request, and it will spare you from appearing abrupt or controlling by making an un-announced change.

By asking yourself one question while talking to another person, you can often get useful information that helps you shape a more effective message. That question is this: "If I were this person, how would I be feeling and thinking about the matter we are discussing?" This is an act of imagination, and through it you achieve empathy.

Loren Ekroth ©2009, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.