"In Cheap We Trust: The Story of a Misunderstood American Virtue" by Lauren Weber (2009)

Having been a small child growing up at the end of the Great Depression, I have many memories of my family scraping by, sharing the produce from our garden with neighbors, wearing hand-me-downs, never dining out, eating from the Mason jars of fruits and vegetables harvested from the farms of friends and relatives.

Is frugal once again fashionable? Yes. Ms. Weber's book describes the story of thrift and good stewardship as an American value. As Ben Franklin wrote, "A penny saved is a penny earned."

Last year I saved $483 with discounts on ordinary expenses. You can save, too.

On restaurants, groceries, oil changes, dry cleaning, car rentals, hotels, clothing, and books.

The Entertainment Books have hundreds of coupons with 50% discounts. Duluth and Des Moines and Detroit. Probably your city or area in the U. S. or Canada.

How You Can Use Entertainment Books:

1. Buy a book for your own use.

2. Buy gift books for the holidays.

3. Give books to valued customers.

4. Buy a book for your vacation destinations like Orlando, Hawaii, Las Vegas. Save hundreds in a week or two.

5. Recommend this offer to friends and they'll save money, too.

You can buy Entertainment Books online at my website, www.conversationmatters.com for lower than retail cost. Your doing this will support this newsletter and save you money at the same time.

"I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine."

--Bertrand Russell, philosopher

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self."

(Check your answer at the end of today's article.)

In which city was the first public opera house opened?

Check your answer at the end of today's article.

"My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays."

-Joey Bishop

-phobe (fohb)--one who fears or hates (homophobe (fears/hates homosexuals), xenophobe (fears/hates foreigners)

-phile (file) --one that loves, likes, or is attracted to Francophile (lover of France, French people);bibliophile (book-lover)

Both -phobe and -phile are from the Greek language and help to form hundreds of English words. Grab hold of these suffixes and you'll understand many words.

To make your conversation more effective doesn't require a complete overhaul. A little tuning up will do a lot.

Here's a small 2-part technique that can help when a disagreement arises:

Your conversation partner brings up a contentious issue such as the health care reform bill now being considered by the congress. S/he goes on at some length, and you disagree.

A typical response would usually be of the "Yes, but" variety. Notice that the "but" is the equivalent of a "no" and invalidates what the other person says.

Instead, try this:

Listening carefully, then summarizing the other's ideas before sharing your viewpoint increases the possibility that s/he will also listen to you. No guarantee, of course, but you have a better chance that the other person will reciprocate.

Then, identifying your ideas as "my viewpoint" or "my story" is more accurate. Neither of you has the absolute truth. Instead, both of you have opinions based on what you've heard and read. I have found that describing your ideas as MY viewpoint (at this time) rather than THE TRUTH makes a conversation more flexible and less contentious.

That's the minor change, the "two-step." First, summarize (accurately paraphrase) and make any needed corrections. Second, deftly offer your differences as "my viewpoint" or "my story."

I think you'll find that very often this minor change will result in a major positive difference of better listening and more civility. You will be disagreeing without being disagreeable.

Famous Quotations: Who said this?

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self."

Correct answer: Aldous Huxley, novelist

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La Triviata Culture Quiz

In which city was the first public opera house opened?

Correct answer: Venice

Loren Ekroth ©2009, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.