Good Listening Rarely Bores Others

People don't become bored if they're actively engaged in

an activity. There are two ways to engage people in conversation: You can talk to them, or you can listen to them. Often listening is the better way to engage them and hold their interest instead of continuing to talk. To do this,

"One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore...

and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and

a half times his own weight in other people's patience."

--Novelist John Updike

When Changing the Subject

To change the subject of a conversation, ask something like

"Do you mind if I change the subject now to _____?" or "At

This time, I'd like to talk about our next meeting, OK?"

Almost everyone will grant this polite request, and it will

Accessing Empathy

By asking yourself one question while talking to another person,

you can often get useful information that helps you shape a more effective message. That question is:

"If I were this person, how would I be feeling and thinking about this matter?" Imagine this and you can achieve empathy.

The Sacred Art of Listening: Forty Reflections for Cultivating

a Spiritual Practice, by Kay Lindahl (2002).

A wise and practical book for deepening your connections

with others through high-quality listening. See this book

at my store of many other conversation-related books at

http://astore.amazon.com/conversati05c-20/detail/1893361446

Loren Ekroth ©2010, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.