Nugget: Are You Being Judged?

Nugget: Allow Wait-time

Unless the other people are saints or Zen masters, they are judging you. That's what human beings do: They size up other persons. They make judgments about them.

Also consider this: You are making judgments about others, sometimes positive, sometimes negative , often mixed.

If you're hypersensitive about people judging you, you'll tend to focus on the one person among 20 you think doesn't like you. You'll want to win their approval. Instead, seek your own self-approval.

In a famous "Peanuts" cartoon, Lucy chases after another kid shouting "Like me! Like me! Like me, I say!" The other kid, indifferent, walks away, and Lucy concludes with "Ratz! I guess you can't force someone to like you!" Little Lucy van Pelt uttered a profound thought.

A high level of self-esteem is the best antidote to the negative judgments of others. It's much better than trying to develop a "thick skin," because that defensive posture takes a lot of energy.

Do people judge other people? Yes. That's the way it is, by golly. Here's good thought to free you from worries that others judge you. Apply Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker's book title: "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business."

Finally, Alan Weiss suggests this mindset: "Reduce the judgmental aspect of your life. (We all do this, don't deny it.) You can find something to criticize about anyone, but what's the point? They're not as perfect as you. Who is?"

+++++++++++++++++++

One more thing: A subscriber gave me an appropriate scolding for my inaccurate characterization of Native Americans in last week's Nugget on wait-time. I erred. Although some Native Americans --such as Hopis and Navahos --tend not to be very talkative, this is not true of many other tribes. I apologize for my error. I over-generalized. (FYI, the subscriber who pointed out my error is an Aleut.)