Feast of Conversation: On May 22, 2011, 3:30-5:30 at Sahara West Library 9600 W. Sahara Ave. in Las Vegas, I will host a second edition "feast" that invites friendly strangers interested in lively conversation about meaningful new questions and topics to spend a lively time with like-minded folks. Free and open to adults.

Plan to attend? Please let me know how many persons. loren@conversationmatters.com

Note: Dozens of readers around the world asked about hosting such an event in their own cities (like Melbourne, Birmingham, Ottawa, Johannesburg, etc.) I am refining my materials for hosting such an event, including sample menus of topics, and I expect that my "Feast of Conversation" kit will be completed and available by the end of May.

"No one ever lost credibility by being interesting." --Tom Antion, professional speaker and internet entrepreneur

Said the TV sportscaster: "I feel really badly about you losing the game."

No. He feels really bad. Why? Because the verb "feel" in this case is intransitive, just like the verb "to be." Such as "I am sad," not "I am sadly." This is another example of hyper-correction, trying hard to sound educated.

Another different meaning of "to feel" is in this example: If your hands are numb from the cold, you probably feel badly with them. But if you are feeling emotionally low, you are feeling bad.

Last week I heard an experienced CNN reporter say CON-tem-PLAY-tiv. No. The standard pronunciation is con-TEM-pluh-tiv. Perhaps, over time, the media talkers will train their listeners that CON-tem-PLAY-tiv is the preferred way. That's what can happen in an ever-changing language.

(But during my lifetime, I'll say con-TEM-pluh-tiv.)

"A slight throbbing about the temples told me that

this discussion had reached saturation point."

--P. G. Wodehouse, British author

STUL-tuh-fye

Meaning: to have a dulling or inhibiting effect on

Example: "Saying the same old stale talk has the effect of stultifying your conversations."

Who said this?

"I don't care if a soldier is straight as long as he can shoot straight."

a. General Colin Powell b. Hillary Rodham Clinton

b. Senator Barry Goldwater d. President Barack Obama

(Check your answer at the end of today's article.)

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."

--Gautama Buddha

Reporters are trained to be on the lookout for stories with an interesting angle. In journalistic parlance, the angle is the point or theme of a news or feature story.

Often a story's angle is something new and fresh. Or surprising. Or perhaps "insider" news unknown to most. Or simply amusing. But not old warmed-over information. Not "yesterday's newspaper."

Similarly, for most talk communication, the questionfor conversers must be "What's my angle?" In sales talk, it's sometimes called a "hook," which is a means of attracting interest or attention.

(One major exception that needs no special angle is called "phatic communication," the exchange of information-free pleasantries to maintain our social relationships. Example: "Mighty windy today, Burt." "Yup. Sure is windy. Might calm down by tonight though. How's the missus, Al?" and so forth.)

For master conversers, looking for an angle is part of their mindset. Because they are usually on the lookout for interesting information, they find it.

Examples: Historian Douglas Brinkley reports that President Reagan collected facts and quotes and humor that he could use for specific encounters, such as meeting heads of state or celebrities. He could set the tone of the engagement with some words customized to each person. Ronald Reagan: "The Great Communicator."

Benjamin Franklin's "Junto" group required each member to bring some useful new information to the weekly meetings. The twelve members were constantly on the alert so they'd have something positive and practical to share.

As I prepare to write my weekly newsletters, my mindset is "What would be interesting and helpful to my subscribers?" Over time, I have developed a "Velcro mind" that fresh possibilities seem to stick to. But, just in case the words -- like birds --fly away, I jot down a key word on a note card and enter the idea into my files when I return home.

If you bring something fresh, surprising, funny, or useful to your encounters, you will truly have achieved "better conversation."

Until next week, Loren

"I don't care if a soldier is straight as long as he can shoot straight."

Answer: Senator Barry Goldwater

Note: It occurred to me that it's best to keep a language and communication focus in future La Triviata quizzes. Therefore, I will do my best to seek out "Who said this?" items.

Loren Ekroth ©2011, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.