Don't judge. Instead, report. When coaching or critiquing others, stick closely to reporting observed behaviors instead of making judgments. As well, apply the Golden Rule. Tell the truth with tact and compassion, the same way you would like to receive feedback. Example: "Dave, I notice that when speaking you do a lot of walking back and forth across the platform. I think your speeches will be more effective if your movements are used for emphasis and transitions. That is, when you have a motive behind each movement. Doing that helps to make your points." Negative example with judgments: "Dave, I think that moving around the stage like you do is a terrible way to give your speech. After a while it looks like you're working off nervous energy and is just plain silly. Stop doing that!" Example for conversation: "I'm having trouble hearing you, Sally so I can't understand everything. (Observed behavior and its consequences) Can you speak up a bit more? (Suggestion for a change in behavior.) Use reporting when you are critiquing others on other skills as well. Golf swings, cake decorating, key-boarding, surfing. That's the process. Simple, and much more effective. Thank you for subscribing and reading this tip! Until next week's tip, Loren

Don't judge. Instead, report.

When coaching or critiquing others, stick closely to reporting observed behaviors instead of making judgments. As well, apply the Golden Rule. Tell the truth with tact and compassion, the same way you would like to receive feedback. Example: "Dave, I notice that when speaking you do a lot of walking back and forth across the platform. I think your speeches will be more effective if your movements are used for emphasis and transitions. That is, when you have a motive behind each movement. Doing that helps to make your points." Negative example with judgments: "Dave, I think that moving around the stage like you do is a terrible way to give your speech. After a while it looks like you're working off nervous energy and is just plain silly. Stop doing that!" Example for conversation: "I'm having trouble hearing you, Sally so I can't understand everything. (Observed behavior and its consequences) Can you speak up a bit more? (Suggestion for a change in behavior.) Use reporting when you are critiquing others on other skills as well. Golf swings, cake decorating, key-boarding, surfing. That's the process. Simple, and much more effective. Thank you for subscribing and reading this tip! Until next week's tip, Loren

When coaching or critiquing others, stick closely to reporting observed behaviors instead of making judgments. As well, apply the Golden Rule. Tell the truth with tact and compassion, the same way you would like to receive feedback.

Example: "Dave, I notice that when speaking you do a lot of walking back and forth across the platform. I think your speeches will be more effective if your movements are used for emphasis and transitions. That is, when you have a motive behind each movement. Doing that helps to make your points."

Negative example with judgments:

"Dave, I think that moving around the stage like you do is a terrible way to give your speech. After a while it looks like you're working off nervous energy and is just plain silly. Stop doing that!"

Example for conversation:

"I'm having trouble hearing you, Sally so I can't understand everything. (Observed behavior and its consequences) Can you speak up a bit more?

(Suggestion for a change in behavior.)

Use reporting when you are critiquing others on other skills as well. Golf swings, cake decorating, key-boarding,

surfing.

That's the process. Simple, and much more effective. Thank you for subscribing and reading this tip! Until next week's tip, Loren

That's the process. Simple, and much more effective.

Thank you for subscribing and reading this tip!

Until next week's tip,

Loren

Loren Ekroth ©2011, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.