Apparently there are not very many such events. I got responses from only a few subscribers who said there was a book club or meet-up in their area, but no mention of salons, conversation cafes, or other events focused purely on quality conversation.

Therefore I will refine some of my easy-to-host processes and soon make them available pro bono (free) in exchange for your comments on how they worked for you. (For example, I have created and compiled over 30 "conversation games," that can be used for an hour or two in your home with a small group.)

I am unable to learn what country you subscribers are in from your email addresses. Most of you are in the U. S., many are in the U. K., Canada, Australia and other English-speaking countries. But also Botswana, Vietnam, Malaysia. I'd be grateful to learn where you are because now I can only guess that my readers are in 85 or more countries. Would you take a minute to tell me your name and country, like "Jose, El Salvador" in the subject line? Many thanks!

Send to me at loren@conversationmatters.com.

"No matter how brilliantly an idea is stated, we will not really be moved unless we have already half-thought of it ourselves."

--Mignon McLaughlin

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation."

--George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist (1856-1950)

Do a good deed for the day: Make a cup of fresh coffee or tea for a stressed-out co-worker or neighbor and deliver it with a cookie or a piece of fresh fruit and a few words of friendly encouragement.

An outstanding resource for quotations is the "Quotes of the Day" e-publication of G. Armour Van Horn. Long a subscriber to QOTD, I am amazed how he is able to send out a themed collection of fascinating quotations each and every day! It's complimentary and free of any hype. As well, he has compiled a huge archive that you can search if you seek special quotations for your writing or speaking.

From today's issue, the publisher describes the archive:

"What is fame? When folks go looking for quotes, whose quotes are they looking for? There is a little box on the home page to show the twenty-five hottest authors on Quotes of the Day based on the previous month's visits. For December the top ten were: Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Kurt Vonnegut, Albert Camus, Steven Wright, Robert A. Heinlein, Samuel Johnson, and George Carlin."

To subscribe, visit the website, http://www.qotd.org/

(Hint: Do it now and benefit immediately. If you put it off, you might forget.)

"Do not follow where the path may lead.

Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs."

-Vaclav Havel: poet, playwright, former President of the Czech Republic. Mr. Havel, leader of the "Velvet Revolution" that overthrew the communist regime in his country, died Sunday morning, Dec. 18, 2011.

Should you use quotations in your conversations?

My answer is "yes." At least, use them occasionally.

Why use quotations? Because quotations can add spice to ordinary talk, which can be characterized as mostly routine. If people use quotations at all, their quotations tend to be worn-out, deadly clich©s.

Quotations can add humor and levity

This is my main purpose for using quotations. For example, when someone asks me where I grew up, I tell them near "Duluth, Minnesota."

"Wow!" they respond. That's a cold part of the country, isn't it?

"Yes," I add: "Bob Hope said the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in Duluth." 99% of the time, I get a chuckle.

To describe someone who performs a high-risk experiment without adequate information, I might say "Mark Twain said that a fellow who picks a cat up by the tail gets a hundred times as much information as one who's never done it."

Using the source on the front end of a humorous quotation prepares the listener to expect humor. I always give credit to the source, and the source name adds to the quotation. For humor, I use a few dozen favorite quotations of Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, Jay Leno, Mark Twain, Lily Tomlin, Mae West, and W. C. Fields.

Quotations can add authority to your talk.

By quoting respected experts, we can add some "heft" to our words. For example, the concept of diplomacy backed by military might was colorfully (and memorably) expressed by President Teddy Roosevelt's advice to "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Of all the millions of words uttered by special people like politicians, artists, authors, scientists, philosophers, and leaders of movements, only a few remain poignant and pithy enough for posterity. These are nuggets that condense language into insight or wisdom.

Here's a nugget from philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche:

"If we have a 'why' to live, we can endure almost any 'how'."

Another favorite, this by Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

For romance, quote your beloved a love poem.

Remember the success of Cyrano de Bergerac? Or Elizabeth Barrett Browning, "How do I love you? Let me count the ways." Or Shakespeare's words describing Cleopatra: "Age cannot wither, nor custom stale, her infinite variety."

From the Broadway musical, "Kiss Me, Kate!," men get this good advice from a song:

"Brush up your Shakespeare,

Start quoting him now.

Brush up your Shakespeare

And the women you will wow."

Cautions about using quotations:

If you use quotations too often, you may appear to be showing off, and nobody likes a smarty-pants showoff. As I see it, the purpose of using quotations is to enrich the conversation, not to elevate the speaker.

A few generations ago, it was standard practice in the public schools that students commit to memory both poems and historical documents. Most eighth graders could recite the Gettysburg Address or Walt Whitman's "Captain, My Captain." High school students memorized Shakespearean sonnets and the Declaration of Independence. Sunday school students memorized proverbs and parables from scriptures. But those practices are no longer in fashion.

Because I don't want to be seen as either pedantic or old-fashioned, I use quotations judiciously and only when they are directly related to the topic being discussed. And I always give credit to the authors. As W. C. Fields might say about my practice, "Anyone who gives credit where it's due can't be all bad."

Spice up your conversation by memorizing a few powerful quotations. You can easily search for best ones online, especially the "Quotes of the Day" site. Try this. I think you'll like it.

Until next week,

Loren

P. S. If you like this issue, please share it with a friend. You can do this by using the "Forward this email to a friend" link.

Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.