title (1995). It's the truth.

If you want to leverage your interpersonal skills, set

aside one normal weekday and do these 2 things:

1. Observe your habitual tendencies to listen (or

not listen because you're talking or your attention is

elsewhere,) and

2. Give the gift of attentive listening to others on this day.

Let it be OK not to share your opinion or point of view; not

to argue; not to interrupt; not to say "Me, too."

Dozens of experts agree that listening is one of the most underrated and least practiced conversation skills. (Including me.)

A few days ago we observed the birthday of that great

American, Henry David Thoreau. Here's what he wrote

about being listened to:

"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought , and attended to my answer."

Henry David Thoreau, 1817 - 1862

We've also been honoring the 50th anniversary of the classic novel by Harper Lee, "To Kill a Mockingbird." Here's what a character in that powerful book had to say about listening:

"You never really understand a person

until you consider things from his point of view."

(Lawyer Atticus Finch speaking)

Finally, since the conversation doesn't have to be all about me

or you, we can make our priority #1 an attempt to understand the other person. As Stephen Covey wrote in his modern classic, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,"

"Seek first to understand and then to be understood."

So, on the day you choose to increase your awareness of

and skill in listening,

Make no judgments

Don't interrupt others

Don't finish another's sentences

Then people will feel much safer and more comfortable.

I thought each subscriber who opened the survey issue would be able to respond, but that was not so. I misunderstood, and later I learned that the number of respondents was limited for this trial run. So, mea culpa. I'll report the results in a future issue. and I'll re-format and improve the survey for future distribution.

(Words this issue: 405; Reading time: 2 minutes)

Loren Ekroth ©2010, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.