When conversing by phone, especially for business, it's best for your voice to have a warm and friendly tone. Alas, too often voices sound automatic and unfriendly. That can be a problem. Here's the deal: If you have a scowling face, you'll have a scowling voice that's hard to listen to. Even if you don't feel a "scowling emotion," if you have a scowling face, your voice will express it. Facial expressions and vocal expressions are "hard-wired" together. In short, mean face = mean voice. What can you do to prevent sounding mean or stern? Put a mirror on each desk by the telephone. Then check your facial expression before you begin speaking. If your face looks overly serious, lighten up. How? Think of someone who makes you smile, and let a smile warm your face. If you are the boss or supervisor, providing inexpensive make up mirrors for your staff will help them become better customer service people. This can be especially helpful for medical and dental offices where receptionists are notorious for sounding officious. How about for social conversations? When a friend phones you, do you sound like "I'm glad you called!" or do you sound like "I'm very busy with other things and wish you hadn't called"? Do you actually know how you sound? Even if you don't feel like smiling you can do so. Your smile will warm and lighten up your voice, and that's a real plus for any relationship. Now, when you initiate a phone call, same counsel: Warm, friendly, "smiling" voice. (Unless, of course, you're a bill collector or re-po company.) Email is no substitute for a voice-call. It's hard to get the emotion right in text, and a danger is that it's easy for the receiver to misread your tone and context. Your vocal modulations and intonations are as important as your content. So, either initiating or receiving calls, "be prepared" with a smiling voice. Try it. You'll like it. Until next week, Loren

If you have a scowling face, you'll have a scowling voice that's hard to listen to.

Even if you don't feel a "scowling emotion," if you have a scowling face, your voice will express it. Facial expressions and vocal expressions are "hard-wired" together. In short, mean face = mean voice.

What can you do to prevent sounding mean or stern?

Put a mirror on each desk by the telephone. Then check your facial expression before you begin speaking. If your face looks overly serious, lighten up. How? Think of someone who makes you smile, and let a smile warm your face.

If you are the boss or supervisor, providing inexpensive make up mirrors for your staff will help them become better customer service people. This can be especially helpful for medical and dental offices where receptionists are notorious for sounding officious.

How about for social conversations? When a friend phones you, do you sound like "I'm glad you called!" or do you sound like "I'm very busy with other things and wish you hadn't called"?

Do you actually know how you sound?

Even if you don't feel like smiling you can do so. Your smile will warm and lighten up your voice, and that's a real plus for any relationship.

Now, when you initiate a phone call, same counsel: Warm, friendly, "smiling" voice. (Unless, of course, you're a bill collector or re-po company.)

Email is no substitute for a voice-call. It's hard to get the emotion right in text, and a danger is that it's easy for the receiver to misread your tone and context. Your vocal modulations and intonations are as important as your content.

So, either initiating or receiving calls, "be prepared" with a smiling voice.

Try it. You'll like it.

Until next week, Loren

Until next week,

Loren

I requested comments from readers who had not yet sent them. Wow! So many of you responded, often with very useful feedback I'd not have known, such as why you liked certain features like my newest one, "Greek and Latin Roots." Great thanks to all and each who took time to send a comment! "Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." - Voltaire, 1694 - 1778

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."

- Voltaire, 1694 - 1778

Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.