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Many thanks for helping to "raise the standard."

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can be great."

--Mark Twain

"Women like silent men. They think they're listening."

-- Marcel Achard, 1899 - 1974

Because the research is clear:

For the full story, click here: "People who put in a solid 40 hours a week get more done than those who regularly work 60 or more hours."

Note: For any readers who routinely work 50-60 hours per week, take 2 minutes to read this report from a respected business journal.

My surname, Ekroth, is Swedish. However, many people, even longtime friends, misspell it as Eckroth. (Eck means "corner" in German.)

My name in Swedish means Ek (oak) + roth (root.) (Remember the Swedish actress, Anita Ekberg? Her name means Ek (oak) berg (mountain).

Many Swedish (and Norwegian) names reference nature. Here are a few more with tree references:

Lind (linden tree) Lindstrom means "linden stream"

Bok (beech tree) Boklund means "beech grove"

Alm (elm tree) Almgren means "elm branch"

"Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul."

-- Henry David Thoreau

In this new e-book, "Motherhood: The Quotes," you'll find over 250 quotes on themes related to motherhood, with three chapters contributed by other authorities on quotes. (I --Loren Ekroth -- wrote the chapter entitled "Talking With Mom.") Get a copy in seconds for your Kindle, just 99 cents from Amazon.

Many subscribers have complained about too-talkative people who overwhelm them. Most recently Shirley asked me "How can I deal with those people?"

First, let's face it. Many folks are about ME instead of WE. That's a problem, because without the collaboration of WE, no conversation takes place. Only monologues in the presence of others.

The English language is rich with adjectives for the tendency to talk too much:

chatty, disclosive, effusive, endless, fluent, frank, free-tongued, gabby, garrulous, gassy, gushy, long-winded, loquacious, mouthy, outspoken, overtalkative, prolix, protracted, spun-out, talky, verbose, voluble, windy, wordy.

Why are some folks so talkative?

For those many who have asked me "What can I do when others talk so much?" here are some suggestions:

1. Ask the loquacious ones to slow down. "Would you talk a bit more slowly? I'm having trouble following you." (Requesting a change in behavior often works.)

2. Tactfully Interrupt. When the verbose one takes a breath, claim the space by saying something like "Excuse me. May I respond to that?"

3. Assert yourself. Don't wait for the super-talker to give you a turn. Take it. "What say is interesting, and I'd like to add something."

4. In meetings, use a time-keeper who doesn't allow participants to make lengthy speeches. (This is standard in the U. S. Congress, for example.) Even for informal conversation groups (like Conversation Cafes), a host enforces the rules of brevity.

5. If you are introverted, you'll often be overwhelmed by extraverted talkers. But don't expect them to change to your style because you wish it to be so -- any more than you'd expect a right-handed person to become left-handed. Instead, make some adjustments.

The great Johnny Carson of the Tonight Show, an extreme introvert, kept up with his often-windy guests by being actively involved, asking disarming questions, even teasing them. Matt Lauer, host of NBC's Today Show since 1997 and also an introvert, fully engages and guides his chatty guests without being effusive himself.

Above all, don't just be resentful that some folks talk so much. Instead, be pro-active and make some small changes in your conversational behavior. Then the talky ones will begin to adjust to you.

Until next week, Loren

Until next week,

Loren

Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.