Tip: Don't Hold Your Breath

Tip: Don't hold your breath! When you're upset and reactive, take a breath before speaking those angry words. Pause. Breathe deeply. Ground yourself by feeling your feet on the floor. (The great psychologist William James counseled that we also count to 10.) Rather than blurting out the first thoughts that rush into your head and escalating the negativity, listen for other possible responses. Later, instead of regretting words you can't take back (you cannot un-ring a bell), you'll have said something more civil and subtle. Try it. You won't regret it.

When you're upset and reactive, take a breath before speaking those angry words. Pause. Breathe deeply. Ground yourself by feeling your feet on the floor. (The great psychologist William James counseled that we also count to 10.) Rather than blurting out the first thoughts that rush into your head and escalating the negativity, listen for other possible responses. Later, instead of regretting words you can't take back (you cannot un-ring a bell), you'll have said something more civil and subtle. Try it. You won't regret it.

When you're upset and reactive, take a breath before speaking those angry words.

Pause. Breathe deeply. Ground yourself by feeling your feet on the floor. (The great psychologist William James counseled that we also count to 10.)

Rather than blurting out the first thoughts that rush into your head and escalating the negativity, listen for other possible responses. Later, instead of regretting words you can't take back (you cannot un-ring a bell), you'll have said something more civil and subtle.

Try it. You won't regret it.

Post on Facebook, Please

Just above the header "Better Conversations Newsletter" at the top of this issue, you'll see a Facebook icon. Clicking on that will take you to your Facebook page. The link to this issue will also appear. You can add a comment and post it and your friends will be able to access this newsletter.

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.