"If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters." --Robert Orben

"All politicians should have three hats - one to throw into the ring, one to talk through, and one to pull rabbits out of if elected." -- Carl Sandburg, 1878 - 1967

"Politics is just show business for ugly people." --Jay Leno

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." --Groucho Marx

http://videos2view.net/Hope-Cagney.htm

Slightly belated (this just came my way) for the 4th of July, but timeless. The great Jimmy Cagney and Bob Hope tap dance to "Yankee Doodle Dandy." Spectacular. (Some forget that Bob Hope was a song-and-dance man before he was a comedian, Cagney a tapper before he became a tough guy movie star.)

Pronunciation: SWAY-zhuhn

The act of urging: persuasion. (Often used in the phrase 'moral suasion')

From Latin suadere (to advise). Ultimately from the Indo-European root swad- (sweet, pleasant), which also gave us sweet, suave, hedonism, persuade, and Hindi swad (taste). Earliest documented use: 1374.

Example sentence:

"He was so convinced by my arguments that he lent me his best riding-horse without further suasion." --Neal Stephenson; Quicksilver; William Morrow; 2003.

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965

(Question: Is there such a person you have not yet thanked? A teacher, a doctor, a co-worker, a good friend? If so, don't delay, do it today.)

When you have a positive mindset and are feeling vibrantly positive emotions, you'll be more effective when conversing. This is especially true when you are in challenging situations. Conversely, if you are worrying and anxious, you'll be less effective. Fortunately, there is a direct way to prepare your body, mind, and feelings for challenging situations. How? By remembering your positive past experiences and "borrowing" those feelings for future challenges. This method is sometimes called "mental rehearsal," sometimes, "creative visualization." Remembering the future (with creative visualization, borrowing confidence and skill from your memories your file of accomplishments, then plugging it into a future performance.) Here's how to do this: Recall experiences that contain the qualities you need for a future challenge: confidence; courage; persistence; steadfastness, whatever they are. Mentally relive the most potent of those experiences. Feel the feelings, see the past events in your mind's eye. Then, filled with these experiences, "remember (create) the future." If in sports, see yourself winning the race or making the winning goal. If in conversation, see yourself negotiating a satisfactory contract, getting the job, or reconciling a conflict. Such mental rehearsal prepares not only your feelings, but even your mind and your muscles. Then you can truly say to yourself, "I can do it because I've already done it." As Albert Einstein said, "Your imagination is your preview to life's coming attractions." You'll find many future opportunities to use this simple and powerful method. Please do. Until next week, Loren Note: Just above the header "Better Conversations Newsletter" at the top of this issue, you'll see a Facebook icon. Clicking on that will take you to your Facebook page. The link to this issue will also appear. You can add a comment and post it so your friends can access this newsletter.

Conversely, if you are worrying and anxious, you'll be less effective.

Fortunately, there is a direct way to prepare your body, mind, and feelings for challenging situations.

How? By remembering your positive past experiences and "borrowing" those feelings for future challenges. This method is sometimes called "mental rehearsal," sometimes, "creative visualization."

Remembering the future (with creative visualization, borrowing confidence and skill from your memories your file of accomplishments, then plugging it into a future performance.)

Here's how to do this:

Recall experiences that contain the qualities you need for a future challenge: confidence; courage; persistence; steadfastness, whatever they are.

Mentally relive the most potent of those experiences. Feel the feelings, see the past events in your mind's eye. Then, filled with these experiences, "remember (create) the future." If in sports, see yourself winning the race or making the winning goal. If in conversation, see yourself negotiating a satisfactory contract, getting the job, or reconciling a conflict. Such mental rehearsal prepares not only your feelings, but even your mind and your muscles. Then you can truly say to yourself, "I can do it because I've already done it."

As Albert Einstein said, "Your imagination is your preview to life's coming attractions."

You'll find many future opportunities to use this simple and powerful method.

Please do.

Until next week,

Loren

Note: Just above the header "Better Conversations Newsletter" at the top of this issue, you'll see a Facebook icon. Clicking on that will take you to your Facebook page. The link to this issue will also appear. You can add a comment and post it so your friends can access this newsletter.

You may reprint any items from "Better Conversations" newsletters in your print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

Reprinted from "Better Conversations," an ezine featuring articles and tips to enhance conversation skills. Subscribe free and receive immediate access to 32 articles at www.conversationmatters.com

Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.