Campfires inspire rituals like roasting 'smores, singing camp songs, and telling stories. When you're around a campfire without distractions, you'll often do all three. The natural setting and the crackling flames call forth something primal in us humans -- the ancient act of storytelling. As author Reynolds Price put it: "A need to tell and hear stories is essential to the species Homo sapiens - second in necessity apparently after nourishment and before love and shelter. Millions survive without love or home, almost none in silence; the opposite of silence leads quickly to narrative, and the sound of story is the dominant sound of our lives . . ." Actual in-nature campfires have certain qualities and features that stimulate storytelling: Qualities of hospitality, inclusion, and informality. Features of a circle (equality), seated on the ground (informality), fire (warmth and fascination), and nature (for "earthing" us and a primal "feel".) Does sharing stories make a real conversation? Yes. Taking turns listening and speaking. A bit more structured than casual conversations, but real conversations nonetheless. Some types of stories to share: ●Fairy tales ("Once Upon a Time . . .") made up or re-told ●Improvised stories on a theme (e.g., "Danger" or "Adventure" or "Fun") ●Tall Tales (including whoppers about fishing or hunting) ●Ghost stories (but maybe not for little kids) ●Ancestral stories (e.g. "How great-grandfather came from the old country.") ●Personal life stories (e.g., "When Uncle Bill taught me to swim") Fortunately, if you don't have a campfire experience handy, you can simulate the campfire experience in a pub or even a backyard or "family room." You can borrow the qualities and features of the campfire experience in nature to stimulate story telling. I have attended dozens of retreats and group experiences that modeled the informality and inclusion of campfires without an actual fire. We dressed informally, sat on the floor in a circle, sometimes "warmed up" with singing, and shared personal experiences. The main things to stimulate sharing are the campfire qualities and features. (For example, even at a traditional meeting, a round table will elicit more participation than a rectangular table with a place for the "head person.") Everyone has a story to tell. Campfires help them tell it. Note: For readers who want to learn more about storytelling in human history, I recommend "The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human," by Jonathan Gottschall (2012) Until next week, Loren

As author Reynolds Price put it:

"A need to tell and hear stories is essential to the species Homo sapiens - second in necessity apparently after nourishment and before love and shelter. Millions survive without love or home, almost none in silence; the opposite of silence leads quickly to narrative, and the sound of story is the dominant sound of our

lives . . ."

Actual in-nature campfires have certain qualities and features that stimulate storytelling: Qualities of hospitality, inclusion, and informality. Features of a circle (equality), seated on the ground (informality), fire (warmth and fascination), and nature (for "earthing" us and a primal "feel".)

Does sharing stories make a real conversation? Yes. Taking turns listening and speaking. A bit more structured than casual conversations, but real conversations nonetheless.

Some types of stories to share:

●Fairy tales ("Once Upon a Time . . .") made up or re-told

●Improvised stories on a theme (e.g., "Danger" or "Adventure" or "Fun")

●Tall Tales (including whoppers about fishing or hunting)

●Ghost stories (but maybe not for little kids)

●Ancestral stories (e.g. "How great-grandfather came from the old country.")

●Personal life stories (e.g., "When Uncle Bill taught me to swim")

Fortunately, if you don't have a campfire experience handy, you can simulate the campfire experience in a pub or even a backyard or "family room." You can borrow the qualities and features of the campfire experience in nature to stimulate story telling.

I have attended dozens of retreats and group experiences that modeled the informality and inclusion of campfires without an actual fire. We dressed informally, sat on the floor in a circle, sometimes "warmed up" with singing, and shared personal experiences.

The main things to stimulate sharing are the campfire qualities and features. (For example, even at a traditional meeting, a round table will elicit more participation than a rectangular table with a place for

the "head person.")

Everyone has a story to tell. Campfires help them tell it.

Note: For readers who want to learn more about storytelling in human history, I recommend "The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human," by Jonathan Gottschall (2012)

Until next week,

Loren

Just above the header "Better Conversations Newsletter" at the top of this issue, you'll see icons for Facebook and Twitter. Clicking on F will take you to your Facebook page. The link to this issue will also appear. You can add a comment and post it so your friends can access this newsletter.

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Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.