Pointer: Get comfortable with what you're expected to say when meeting strangers.

Because meeting strangers sometimes makes you nervous, you might stumble over what to say . . .and then say next. Even introducing yourself! (This tends to happen more often when you meet Very Important Persons.)

If you have to think about what to say, you'll be self-conscious. Instead, think and rehearse in advance. You can practice in low-risk settings with friends, and you can practice by yourself. You can say your words aloud until they feel natural and flow easily.

This idea may seem odd to you. It's "planned spontaneity." But many activities require it:

A good tennis player doesn't have to think about her backhand stroke. She's hit that stroke thousands of times, often against a wall. An actor rehearses until he "owns" the words and speaks them naturally, not as if he was reading lines. Good drivers practice so they don't have to think about applying the brakes when a child abruptly runs into the street.

So don't feel foolish about planning and practicing your "opening lines." It's the smart thing to do.

Until next week, Loren

Just above the header "Better Conversations Newsletter" at the top of this issue, you'll see icons for Facebook and Twitter. Clicking on those will take you to your Facebook or Twitter page. The link to this issue will also appear. You can add a comment and post it so your friends can access this newsletter.

Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.