Many subscribers send me comments that include "Ah-hah!" insights about conversation. "When I learned to ask better questions, my conversations became more interesting." When you have such an insight and send it to me, I'll include it in a future issue with your name or,

if you prefer, confidentially, like "a subscriber in Australia." Send to Loren@conversationmatters.com

Among my subscribers are authors, speakers,

coaches, consultants, and experts who have

products to sell or services to provide. My speaker friend Joe Sabah knows how to get on radio shows,

and here's what Joe writes:

What would you do with a list of

766 Radio Talk Shows who are looking for

guests to interview EVERY DAY? I've identified the Hosts by name

I've identified the Producers by name

Also includes: Call Letters of the Station

Name of the Shows

phones, faxes and even emails.

Simply go to www. Sabah Radio Shows.com for 'the rest of the story.'

When you order, be sure to say "Loren Sent Me!" (Note: Only for the U. S.)

for 'the rest of the story.'

When you order, be sure to say "Loren Sent Me!" (Note: Only for the U. S.)

(Note: Only for the U. S.)

When you recommend my newsletter on Facebook, Linked In, and Twitter, you will be advancing my mission, "To Raise the Standard of Conversation in Life." Please spread the word. I thank you, dear readers. My motto: "Better Conversations Make a Better World."

"Just as you don't learn to play the violin by reading sheet music, you don't learn to converse by reading manuals." --Dr. Loren Ekroth

framily (noun)

people who are not related to you but are your very close friends and are as important to you as your family

polyamorous (adj)

having more than one serious, sexual-emotional relationship at the same time

tweetheart (noun)

a user of the Twitter short messaging service who is liked and admired by other users

singlism (noun)

unfair attitudes or behavior towards people who are not married or part of a couple

For a look, go here: http://tinyurl.com/7ghbxh8

(Some readers may have missed these articles.)

"The ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic by experts. Don't wait for experts." --Murray Cohen

"One can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you have had much practice,"

said the Queen to Alice. "When I was your age,

I always did it for half-an-hour a day.

Why, sometimes I've believed as many

as six impossible things before breakfast."

--Lewis Carroll

Often during conversation, a few words will suffice. "Less is more."

Professional speaker and best-selling author Alan Weiss writes: "Tell people what they need to know, not everything that you know. Bad examples: Any TV "meteorologist." They're giving me wind directions and high tides and I merely want to know if it will be cold and if I need an umbrella."

Why Be Brief?

2. Sometimes brevity is more effective, as in one-line humor. Examples:

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize" --Stephen Wright

"Politics is just show business for ugly people." --Jay Leno

3. Often at social events, guests are asked "to say a few words."

4. If you say too much, you might be cut off, like being interviewed by a radio or TV host.

5. Brief talk is more memorable than lengthy talk. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was 10 sentences long. Edward Everett's speech at the same event was more than an hour, and no one remembers what he said.

6. If you talk at length, listeners may tune you out. As part of your conversation skill-set, you should be able to speak at the length appropriate, not more, not less. Many extraverted and voluble people seem unable to do this. They ramble on and on. Not good. This article is primarily for them.

Fortunately, methods to learn brevity are at hand: Practice brevity in both writing and speaking and you'll get the hang of it.

Writing practice:

1. Six Word Memoirs, such as Six-word memoirs on Love and Heartbreak

Critical, clenched husband. Heavy, heavy heart.

It never hurt as good again.

Got the ring. Mailed it back.

Magnetic attraction

fused to polar opposites.

Love at first sight is blind.

(Can you write a memoir in 6 words? Give it a try.)

2. Write Haiku, the Western form of Japanese poems

This method, simple and clear, is borrowed from Wikihow.com:

Now, try writing a haiku. (Maybe write one for Valentine's Day for your sweetheart, who will be impressed!)

Talking practice:

"helpless" "victim" "stupid" "pessimistic" "trapped" "confused"

Choose a real-life problem you are dealing with. Maybe about work, or finances, or relationships. Capture the essence of that situation in one word.

2. Practice one-line humor:

Here are two I recently used to get laughs:

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

Do you have some one-line humor available? Way better than long jokes or shaggy-dog stories. Try concocting some, or borrow them from the internet. Google the term "one-liners" or "one-line humor" and you'll find many.

3. Join a Toastmasters club in your area and you'll learn to be succinct by observing others, then practicing how to pack a lot of meaning into a short speech. No blabber-mouthing allowed. You'll get lots of help and support from fellow members, and the cost of joining is minimal! (To locate a club near you, go to www. Toastmasters International.org.)

President Calvin Coolidge, aka "Silent Cal," was legendary as a man of few words. One story has it that Dorothy Parker, seated next to him at a dinner, said to him, "Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you." His famous reply: "You lose." Mr. Coolidge wasted neither money nor words!

Finally, Mark Twain, brilliant writer, speaker, and conversationalist, recommended that generally, "the fewer the words that fully communicate or evoke the intended ideas and feelings, the more effective the communication."

Good advice, indeed. So, overly talkative folks, take heed!

(If you like this article, please forward it to your friends.)

Until next week,

Loren

Loren Ekroth ©2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.