2 Reasons to Plan Your Holiday Conversations

2. 2 Reasons to Plan Your Holiday Conversations

You're probably planning carefully for the food part of Thanksgiving Holidays. Who brings what? How do you roast the turkey? Who carves? All these details can take a lot of planning.

How about the social interaction aspects of a gathering?

I have observed that, without planning, things can go awry.

For example, during the meal, the talk is nice, but trivial, mainly about how yummy the turkey is, and "What's your secret recipe for the relish?" Then, after the meal, the activities might consist of little more than NFL football, naps and, weather allowing, a walk in the park.

Here are two alternatives to consider adding:

Before the meal, each adult shares a life experience they are grateful for, one they found really valuable. (Just a minute or two

for each person.) The experience might have been painful at the time - like being fired from a job or jilted in a relationship, but eventually it turned out to be valuable.

Kids can share a dream of their future, an opportunity they are grateful to have, such as playing in the school band, or becoming a veterinarian.

2. At some time after dinner, gather in a common area and pass out fortune cookies. (You can get these at any Chinese restaurant.) One at a time, each person opens his or her cookie, reads the fortune aloud, and briefly describes how it does (or doesn't) relate to them.

Example of a fortune: "An unusual opportunity is soon arriving for you." Oh? Would you like that? What do you hope for? Tell us about it.

One other part of a social plan could be what is off limits. For example, no "politics talk." If you expect one of the attendees to rant, rave and argue about the recent elections, you could suggest such a basic ground rule in order to avoid toxic interaction that would ruin the gathering.

In his great book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey counseled that we "begin with the end in mind."

If you want a gathering that results in both culinary and social satisfactions, include a little planning for the social part.

Best wishes to you all for a warm and grateful Thanksgiving!