OK. You're at a networking event, a social mixer, or a holiday party. You don't know anyone except perhaps the host. You feel a bit anxious. What to do?

1. Find one other person who looks friendly and introduce yourself.Ask if they'll "buddy-up" to meet others. Then, as a pair, travel aroundand introduce your buddy to others. (There's security in numbers as few as two.)

2.But first, learn something intriguing about your new friend. e.g., Joehas competed in 22 marathons; Sally won an award in a short-storycontest; Edgar brews his own craft beer; Elizabeth is originally fromMontevideo, Uruguay; Bill is the CFO for Bradley, Inc. Although it's unseemly to say these things about yourself, your buddy can say them easily: "Loren and I just met, and I found out that he's been to 85 countries and lived in 7 of them!"

3. When you and your partner have met a number of other strangers, you can separate and, with new confidence, venture out on your own. However, if you continue to feel comfortable in a pair and "un-confident" as a single, it's best to continue in the pair.

4. Alternative: Ask the host(s) to introduce you to others. Just givethe host basic information, such as where you're from and whatyou do. That gives the host some "free information" about you to share.

5.Another good approach is to act as an "affiliate host." In that role you introduce yourself to one other person who is new to this group andthen introduce her/her to others. When you assume that role, you'll feel more confident, and (usually) the actual host or hostess will appreciate your efforts. (This is most appropriate at large social mixersand networking groups, but it may not be appropriate at small gatherings.)

Loren Ekroth �2012, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication anda national expert on conversation for business and social life.

Contact atLoren@conversationmatters.com