From time to time, I replace testimonials on my home page with fresh new ones.

If you have gotten practical value from ideas I've published in this newsletter, I would be grateful if you'd share your experience in a few words and in a simple format, something like this example:

"When I applied your suggestions for dealing with difficult people, my work became much less stressful." --Martha Crampton, Sales Manager, Dayton, OH. (Or just your name and location in the world.)

Please send to me at loren@conversationmatters.com

"Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They're absolutely free and worth a fortune." Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, 1918 - 1992

"Acquaintance. n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to." --Ambrose Bierce.

Do you sometimes need to talk to a real person to

resolve a problem with a big company - and then get

put on hold or lost in a telephone maze? Especially frustrating to me is hearing that dumb message that

"Your call is very important to us . . ." (Really?)

Here's how to get to customer service faster and easier.

Go to www.gethuman.com to find and connect with a real person.

(Over 8,000 companies are listed.)

Pronunciation: SPEE-shuss

Meaning: deceptively attractive, or appearing genuine or truthful

Example sentence: "Although the prosecuting attorney presented a specious case, some jurors seemed to be convinced."

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony." -- William Henry Channing, American clergyman, (May 25, 1810 - December 23, 1884)

What gets rewarded (like good work) will continue, even increase.

Where? In the workplace, in the classroom, and in the home.

Although people like to be lauded with general words such as "Good job," specific praise is more effective.

Example: "I really appreciate you being prompt and well-prepared for our meetings."

Such compliments are best delivered in a timely way. For example, shortly after your employee turns in her report and you've had time to read it.

Then (not the following week) you tell her "Your report was wonderfully written, very clear and succinct. I really value the care you give to these projects."

When a manager, parent, or teacher is on the lookout to "catch persons doing something right," they'll notice more of these instances of excellence.

In the home, offer genuine praise for jobs well done at the time they're completed. "Billy, thanks for finishing your homework without my having to remind you. I know I can count on your to do it on your own."

Such instances are countless, and here are 3 common examples:

--Student A tutors student B on how to solve a math problem.

--Employee suggests a way to save his company money.

--Without being asked, husband prepares an excellent family meal.

When someone meets ordinary expectations, simple acknowledgements will suffice. "Thanks for being back in your seats so we can get started on time."

When a person performs "beyond the call," they deserve a genuine compliment. "Great job in handling that difficult customer, Joe. You kept your composure, and he went away satisfied."

When a person does something extraordinary, they deserve to be celebrate in front of others: "I want to ackknowledge Susan for her magnificent planning for our annual meeting. Because of her efforts, the meeting went smoothly, and we came away with great results."

A few caveats when praising others:

An example of "too much undeserved praise." I have noticed in some elementary school parking lots that the majority of cars have bumper stickers that say things like "My Child Is a Star Pupil at Wilson Elementary."

Really? Are all those kids "honor students"? I doubt it. Even the kids know better -- that they are not consistently "wonderful" or "excellent."

Remember the "self-esteem movement" some years ago that recommended adults only affirm young people? It didn't work then, and it doesn't work now. People -- employees, students, and family members alike --see through this.

So, when you praise others, be genuine, specific, timely, and selective.

Loren Ekroth ©2013, all rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life.