Dr. Loren Ekroth

"Dr. Conversation"

Small Talk Scorecard

By Loren Ekroth, Ph.D.

A quick 3-minute test of your small talk skills to help you see if you need to improve when meeting strangers or chatting with friends and acquaintances.

Agree or Disagree with these statements:

1. I regularly check to see that a person is available to talk before starting a conversation. I do not break into an ongoing conversation.
2. When meeting strangers, I offer a brief self-introduction, such as "Hi, I'm Alice Green, the manager of the Credit Union."
3. I am genuinely curious about persons I meet and I ask questions about them like "What brings you to this meeting?"
4. I have a relaxed and open posture when I approach others to talk.
5. I am good at remembering names and use a person's name several times during a conversation.
6. I am brief in my remarks and don't ramble on. I get to the point.
7. I have something good to contribute to most small talk conversations and I am up-to-date with useful information to share.
8. I adjust my voice to make listening easy. I am neither too loud nor too soft, and my voice is well modulated.
9. I am a supportive listener and pay close attention without interrupting.
10. I avoid highly-charged topics and arguments. Instead, I look for common interests.
11. I am good at taking turns and share the time for talking. After I have talked for a while, I offer an opportunity for the other person to talk.
12. I improvise and offer detours into other surprising topics beyond the usual ones of work, weather, business, and sports. I don't stay in usual ruts.
13. I am a good story-teller and can relate experiences and anecdotes with color and flare so that people enjoy what I say.
14. I don't take the attention away from the other person with "Me, too" statements such as "You went to Madrid? Me, too, just two years ago . . ."
15. I know how to tactfully and gracefully exit a conversation when I want to leave it - even when the other person may want to continue.

Your Score

Scoring Guide

  • 13-15: You are excellent at small talk
  • 10-12: You have a pretty good skill level
  • 7-9: You have average skill, can easily improve
  • 0-6: You are probably awkward at small talk, need improvement

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